A Quote About Writing, part I

“Everybody else is working to change, persuade, tempt and control them. The best readers come to fiction to be free of all that noise.”
— Philip Roth

Phil Roth in 1968, being cooler than anybody in 2016. 

Philip Roth (as read up there, and seen to your right) said that. Or wrote it. I have no idea. I don't know when, why, or how he did anything with that quote.

However, Roth is hitting quite a good point. Fiction is not supposed to be reminding you of and/or telling you what to do in the real world. It is supposed to be a safe haven. 

An escape, if you will. Nobody wants to read about their actual problems. They want to get away from them. I thank Philip Roth for saying this, and telling us what fiction is supposed to be. 

What Inspires Me

Once again, I have been forced to a school assignment, and posed with the following question:

"What inspires you to write?"

My first response would be 'bugger off, that's my business', but for school work, I'll answer.

What inspires me to write is control. That's it. Control. I can tell a story, but I get to choose who lives. Who dies. Who cries.

Wait.

Nobody cries in my stories. That's lame.

Anyway, people will know what I mean. If you watch a movie, you think "That's an idiotic decision for film-making!". Same thing with a book. With writing, the idiotic decision is reversed, by my hand. I wouldn't do something as stupid as Ang Lee would do.

The Incredible Hulk in Ang Lee's SULK, 2003

I mean, why do you think people write comics? John Smith said it best when he said "Some jackass wrote Spider-Man into an idiot, and I fixed it. You're welcome."

That may sound a bit arrogant to you, but it's true! If somebody screws with a classic character, you can go back and fix them with writing. Or create new characters and make them classics.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Thanks a lot, Ang Lee.

Return of the Jedi: Third Star Wars film

Return of the Jedi is the 3rd (or 6th) installment in the Star Wars franchise. Many people consider it the worst of the original trilogy.

Those people are correct. ROTJ isn't bad, but The Empire Strikes Back and Star Wars (it is NOT titled "A New Hope") are much better films.

If you haven't seen Return of the Jedi,
A) Rethink your life.
B) Don't read this post yet.
C) Run out and get the Star Wars "Complete Saga" on Blu-Ray
D) Order Hammy's "De-specialized edition" of all three original films.

Now, hoping that you haven't ventured down here without seeing the film (either special edition, or not crappized), I'll move forward with talking about the film. Let's start with the bad moments of the film, just to get those out of the way.

Daddy Skywalker got a face lift.

You can go "nub-nub" in hell.

Problem A: In the special edition of the film, creepy (and bad acting) Anakin Skywalker replaces older Sebastian Shaw as a force ghost.

Problem B: Ewoks. These furry little things take over half of the last act of the film, and are nothing more than a Muppet promotion. How these stupid care bears beat the Imperials is beyond me.

Because this film needed a CGI musical number, right, George?

Problem C: JABBA'S PALACE. No matter what edition you watch, you will SIT THROUGH A MUSICAL NUMBER!!!! The original 1983 song gets replaced in the 1997 edition with a new song, but they both suck! Well, maybe "suck" is too strong, but it has no place in a Star Wars film.


Problem D does not lie within the film, but with the film itself. This movie was originally called Revenge of the Jedi, and had awesome posters made up and sent out. George Lucas decided (at the last minute, might I add) that Jedi wouldn't "seek revenge" and had the posters drawn.

You'll also notice the printing error that has Darth Vader's lightsaber being blue, and Luke's being red. Pretty cool, eh?



Now, onto the good stuff.


The majority of the film is quite enjoyable. Luke's banter with Jabba, Luke outsmarting a Rancor, Boba Fett, etc. Of course, leading man Han Solo makes the film a lot better, because c'mon.

Harrison Ford.

Not to undervalue Mark Hamill, but Ford is great in this. As he always is. I will undervalue Carrie Fisher, for the fact she doesn't get to do much. She did a lot more in Star Wars. Rather than go through every great moment in the film in text, I've included a picture gallery of awesome stuff.

Boba Fett's Cameo of the Year

"Bring Your Son To Work Day"

Mark Hamill's fastest chase since Corvette Summer.

Scout Troopers have the best uniforms of the Imperials, y'know.

Luke vs Vader! Just like TESB, but with cooler colours!

Electrocution!

Lando (yeah, I know) in the Falcon, as the Death Star II explodes.

An Open Letter to Robert McKee/A Link to His Crappy Speech

Dear Robert McKee ,

I was forced to watch your video on screenwriters for school. I just want to say one thing:

HOW ARROGANT CAN  YOU GET?

He dismisses comics as useless, and having nothing to say. Many comics have made political and social statements. While I may not agree with their statements, they DO have something to say.

A film about effects.

A film about story.

Robbie goes on to say that Steven Spielberg and M. Night Shamalan also have nothing to say, and are crappy screenwriters. Look, this is true for Shamalamalan (who hasn't written a good script since Signs), but Spielberg often has great scripts. Aside from Jurassic Park and Jaws being more about the show of graphics and effects, he tries to develop great story. (A.I. had great story, but the effects were way over-done.)

So, Mr. McKee, I assume you have fans. Many fans.

I will not be one of them.



Sincerely,


Randall Flagg.

Iowa!

Ted Cruz WON the Iowa Caucus!!! I am so glad to have real leadership being recognized in this country!!

And on a sadder note, the great Democrat of this race, Martin O' Malley, has dropped out. It will now be either Hillary or Bernie vs a Republican.

Goodbye, Governor. 

Good job, Senator!

FENCES - a review

The book.

I had to read the play "Fences" by August Wilson. I'll be blunt. I had no fondness for this book. It was not an enjoyable read, and the plot is quite confusing. Troy and Bono are friends. Troy has a wife and a son who asks him for money quite a lot. Troy gets into arguments with his wife, son, and friend Bono. Troy cheats on his wife, and his mistress dies.

At least, that's what I think happens. It seems as if they leave a lot of stuff untold. The characters have potential for being great characters, but they don't get developed very much. The plot is moved along quickly, and also suffers from a lack of development.

I'm led to believe this is an important book in history/culture/play-writing, but I don't think so. I don't really enjoy the play, and I do not think I have gained anything by reading it. Of course, this is just my opinion. Plenty of people love this thing.

2/5 (for characters being interesting at first)

Darth Vader  James Earl Jones as Troy

Good Morning.

Hello, I’m Randall Flagg, and you’re not. I am currently doing this blog as an assignment for school. Am I taking this seriously?

You decide, folks.

I’d rather not reveal my name, school, age, address, social security number, IP address or my favorite fruit. Call it safety, call it paranoid, I don’t care. I’m not here to be politically correct, or to care about your feelings. I’m here to write. If I come off as cold, good. It’s better to be seen as a power figure than a doormat. Of course, some power figures kill themselves and their wives in bunkers. Just saying.

If you’re expecting a blog like the ones in Eat, Pray, Love and that one with Julia Child, please leave. If you’re looking for a fun blog like ‘Why Don’t You Take a Seat Right Here?’ (celinoandbarnes.blogspot.com), you have arrived at the right place.

You’d also better be into politics, stories and writing. If not, you will grow to hate this blog and you will most likely hate me.

Happy trails!

This is Peter Tork. There is no reason to include him here.